It's been a while since my last post but there is soo much more to write about I am ready to dive back in. Within the last couple months I have been getting back to normal and enjoying family, friends, and just life in general!
After my second surgery on June 28th I finally got to go home a couple days later and was excited to be at home. This recovery took longer than the first surgery but I had been through a lot and besides the pain I felt great :). Since the surgery was done laproscopically and it was mainly in my abdomen area.... Getting up and down was a challenge and very tough for the first week.
I had many visitors during my recovery period and my wonderful family / friends would trade off bringing Gisela and I meals so we had soo much food and it was great. They were so sweet to come and didn't want to bother me but I loved seeing my family and they were great through this whole ordeal.
After a couple weeks I missed a call from the Dr. Brandes and just thought that he was checking up on me which he was but there was another reason as well. On July 8th I got a call when I was working at home from the Doc. The biopsy was back that was done on the lymphnodes and 4 of 17 I believe were positive for cancer cells and that meant it wasn't all gone :(. I could again tell in his voice he had bad news and he proceeded to tell me that I would have to undergo 2 rounds of chemo. Every single fear, emotion ran through my body at once and I had a hard time speaking. I let the Dr. go and dropped the phone on the ground and started to cry. I knew there was a small possiblity that this was going to happen but I already had bad luck getting cancer again and now this!!! I was devestated.
There is such a stigma associated with Chemotherapy and for some reason it was the worst news yet. I knew what I had to do but I was at my lowest point. I called my mom and told her the news and although she is usually positive about everything and is glass half full type of person I could tell she was scared as well. I told her I would be OK and had to let Gisela know as well. I was soo shaken up I never in my life had been as scared as I was at that moment. I had already had to deal with losing my dad at a young age, beat cancer once, got assaulted and had to have plastic surgery, now I have cancer again and have to do chemo all before I am 30!!....All I wanted to do was fight through it and remain strong for my mom, friends, and Gisela.
Now I had to find a Dr. in network that I could trust and start this process ASAP because testicular cancer moves very fast and I had no time to play around.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Surgery #2 - Retroperitoneal Lymph Node Dissection (RPLND)
So after a week or two I got a call from Dr. Brandes with the results from the biopsy. The details I need to confirm but they were worse than the last orchiectomy. Apparently there are various types of cancer and the way they spread is different. The reason to dissect lymph nodes is because that is where the disease would attack next and go in an upward fashion starting in the lymph nodes then going to your heart, lungs, brain, etc.
What are lymph nodes?
Lymph nodes are small, bean-shaped structures that are an essential component of the immune system. They are found throughout the body and are interconnected with lymph channels. Testicular cancer tends to spread through lymph channels that drain into lymph nodes in the groin area, into channels near the large blood vessel (the aorta) carrying blood from the heart, and into lymph nodes between the abdomen and back called retroperitoneal lymph nodes.
Different types of testicular cancer
Testicular cancer is broadly divided into two different types, seminoma and nonseminoma, based on the appearance of cells under the microscope. Nonseminomas are, in general, more difficult to cure than seminomas. Nonseminoma cell types include: embryonal carcinoma, teratoma, yolk sac carcinoma, choriocarcinoma, and various combinations that are referred to as “mixed cell types”. For nonseminoma cancer teratoma presents the lowest risk of spread and choriocarcinoma presents the highest risk of spread; the other cell types are of intermediate risk.
Treatment planning depends upon whether the testicular cancer is classified as seminoma or nonseminoma. Seminomas are more sensitive to radiation therapy and are easier to cure than nonseminomas. Patients with all stages of seminoma have a cure rate that exceeds 90%, and patients with seminoma confined to the testicle have a cure rate approaching 100%. If there is a mixture of seminoma and nonseminoma components upon examination under the microscope, the cancer is diagnosed as nonseminoma because the cancer will be more aggressive due to the nonseminoma part of the cancer.
The extent of disease, or “stage” is determined after surgical removal of the testicle.
My biopsy results
My results were determined to be "mixed cell types" and 5%-10% of the cancer found was very aggressive and I believe it was embryonal carcinoma. Due to this finding the doctor wanted to rush me in to get a PET scan (scan of my whole body) and a brain MRI to see if the cancer had spread to other parts of my body and even into my brain. To say the least I was freaking out. I got extremely nervous and this was the hardest part of the whole process so far...I decided to handle these tests by myself which was a mistake because I felt alone again when I really didn't need to be.
The thing with me is I really do not want to bother people or ask for too much help. I always feel like I have to take on things by myself and tend to push away people that want to help which I really need to try to work on. I have so many loving people in my life and going through all of this has really shown me that.
I went into the tests and knocked them out but my anxiety, nervousness, terror continued until I got the test results back within the next week.
Results
Some good news was finally in and the tests were OK. The cancer hadn't spread to my brain and we were ready to move on with the RPLND surgery and it was scheduled for June 28th 2011.
Surgery Day
I was all ready to go for surgery and this one was going to be a tough one. It was not outpatient and I was scheduled to be in the hospital for 3-4 days. My mom, her twin sister (Jane), and Gisela all went to the hospital in the morning and I got all checked in. I then went up to the prep area and got into my surgery gown and they confirmed my name, DOB, etc. As you wait you talk to so many doctors explaining different things such as anesthesia, the process, how long it will take etc. When I was ready to go into surgery they started the anesthesia and I slowly started to fade away. I saw my mom and Gisela but then they faded away. I was wheeled into a cold room and then everything went dark.
Post surgery
I woke up from the surgery and was in extreme pain on my left side. I was cursing uncontrollably and couldn't remember much. I couldn't open my eyes for more than a couple minutes and don't recall waking up being this difficult. I later found out the surgery took about 6.5 hours which is an eternity for everyone who was waiting on me. I know my mom was a nervous wreck but I made it and she could finally see me.
I was then wheeled to my room and luckily I requested my own room because nothing is worse than rooming with someone when you have visitors and going to be there for a couple of days. They luckily let Gisela stay with me overnight and she stayed with me until I was released 2 days later. She was by my side the entire time and so patient I don't know what I would have done without her.
The first night
Around midnight the nurse came in and asked if I was ready to try to get up and walk as much as I could. I was up for it and popped right up (catheter and all). I stood up and slowly made it to the door and this was the hardest thing I had to do that night. I was trying to push it and my body told me NO! My body got weak and I felt like I was going to pass out. The nurse and Gisela saw my face and said, "Maybe we should go back to the bed" and I murmured "ok". I started to sweat and get real hot and Gisela later told me my face was yellow but the nurse said that's better than what most people do on the first night. I was well on my way to recovery!
I didn't sleep that much the first night becuase of the pain and it is not that easy for me to be completely relaxed in the hospital. Getting up was very difficult because the incisions were all located in the abdomen area so maneuvering around was quite a process.
Day 2
The next day I was ready to leave but they insisted that I stay another day and I got pretty frustrated because all I wanted to do was go back home. I had some visitors that day which was nice but I was still in a lot of pain and highly medicated so I wasn't all there.
Early that morning the doctors came in and were checking on how I was doing. Little did I know they were going to pull out my catheter which by the way is just a miserable thing to have done. Before I could ask the doctor when they were pulling it out he said, "That's what we are doing now and I am distracting you". At that point the other doctor pulled it out and after a deep breath and shock everything was fine but now I would have to get up to go to the bathroom.
Later in the day I was more mobile and made it all the way down the hall walking and was going to the bathroom regularly. I was recovering quickly and really just wanted to get out of there.
The final day
I woke up the next morning quickly asking when I could go home. They had to do all of the paperwork and I didn't get to leave until around noon that day. I got up and got in my wheelchair and was wheeled out waving to all the nurses who helped me and just overall excited to be in my own bed and on my own couch. I still had a lot of recovery to go but the worst was over and every day it was going to get better!
What are lymph nodes?
Lymph nodes are small, bean-shaped structures that are an essential component of the immune system. They are found throughout the body and are interconnected with lymph channels. Testicular cancer tends to spread through lymph channels that drain into lymph nodes in the groin area, into channels near the large blood vessel (the aorta) carrying blood from the heart, and into lymph nodes between the abdomen and back called retroperitoneal lymph nodes.
Different types of testicular cancer
Testicular cancer is broadly divided into two different types, seminoma and nonseminoma, based on the appearance of cells under the microscope. Nonseminomas are, in general, more difficult to cure than seminomas. Nonseminoma cell types include: embryonal carcinoma, teratoma, yolk sac carcinoma, choriocarcinoma, and various combinations that are referred to as “mixed cell types”. For nonseminoma cancer teratoma presents the lowest risk of spread and choriocarcinoma presents the highest risk of spread; the other cell types are of intermediate risk.
Treatment planning depends upon whether the testicular cancer is classified as seminoma or nonseminoma. Seminomas are more sensitive to radiation therapy and are easier to cure than nonseminomas. Patients with all stages of seminoma have a cure rate that exceeds 90%, and patients with seminoma confined to the testicle have a cure rate approaching 100%. If there is a mixture of seminoma and nonseminoma components upon examination under the microscope, the cancer is diagnosed as nonseminoma because the cancer will be more aggressive due to the nonseminoma part of the cancer.
The extent of disease, or “stage” is determined after surgical removal of the testicle.
My biopsy results
My results were determined to be "mixed cell types" and 5%-10% of the cancer found was very aggressive and I believe it was embryonal carcinoma. Due to this finding the doctor wanted to rush me in to get a PET scan (scan of my whole body) and a brain MRI to see if the cancer had spread to other parts of my body and even into my brain. To say the least I was freaking out. I got extremely nervous and this was the hardest part of the whole process so far...I decided to handle these tests by myself which was a mistake because I felt alone again when I really didn't need to be.
The thing with me is I really do not want to bother people or ask for too much help. I always feel like I have to take on things by myself and tend to push away people that want to help which I really need to try to work on. I have so many loving people in my life and going through all of this has really shown me that.
I went into the tests and knocked them out but my anxiety, nervousness, terror continued until I got the test results back within the next week.
Results
Some good news was finally in and the tests were OK. The cancer hadn't spread to my brain and we were ready to move on with the RPLND surgery and it was scheduled for June 28th 2011.
Surgery Day
I was all ready to go for surgery and this one was going to be a tough one. It was not outpatient and I was scheduled to be in the hospital for 3-4 days. My mom, her twin sister (Jane), and Gisela all went to the hospital in the morning and I got all checked in. I then went up to the prep area and got into my surgery gown and they confirmed my name, DOB, etc. As you wait you talk to so many doctors explaining different things such as anesthesia, the process, how long it will take etc. When I was ready to go into surgery they started the anesthesia and I slowly started to fade away. I saw my mom and Gisela but then they faded away. I was wheeled into a cold room and then everything went dark.
Post surgery
I woke up from the surgery and was in extreme pain on my left side. I was cursing uncontrollably and couldn't remember much. I couldn't open my eyes for more than a couple minutes and don't recall waking up being this difficult. I later found out the surgery took about 6.5 hours which is an eternity for everyone who was waiting on me. I know my mom was a nervous wreck but I made it and she could finally see me.
I was then wheeled to my room and luckily I requested my own room because nothing is worse than rooming with someone when you have visitors and going to be there for a couple of days. They luckily let Gisela stay with me overnight and she stayed with me until I was released 2 days later. She was by my side the entire time and so patient I don't know what I would have done without her.
The first night
Around midnight the nurse came in and asked if I was ready to try to get up and walk as much as I could. I was up for it and popped right up (catheter and all). I stood up and slowly made it to the door and this was the hardest thing I had to do that night. I was trying to push it and my body told me NO! My body got weak and I felt like I was going to pass out. The nurse and Gisela saw my face and said, "Maybe we should go back to the bed" and I murmured "ok". I started to sweat and get real hot and Gisela later told me my face was yellow but the nurse said that's better than what most people do on the first night. I was well on my way to recovery!
I didn't sleep that much the first night becuase of the pain and it is not that easy for me to be completely relaxed in the hospital. Getting up was very difficult because the incisions were all located in the abdomen area so maneuvering around was quite a process.
Day 2
The next day I was ready to leave but they insisted that I stay another day and I got pretty frustrated because all I wanted to do was go back home. I had some visitors that day which was nice but I was still in a lot of pain and highly medicated so I wasn't all there.
Early that morning the doctors came in and were checking on how I was doing. Little did I know they were going to pull out my catheter which by the way is just a miserable thing to have done. Before I could ask the doctor when they were pulling it out he said, "That's what we are doing now and I am distracting you". At that point the other doctor pulled it out and after a deep breath and shock everything was fine but now I would have to get up to go to the bathroom.
Later in the day I was more mobile and made it all the way down the hall walking and was going to the bathroom regularly. I was recovering quickly and really just wanted to get out of there.
The final day
I woke up the next morning quickly asking when I could go home. They had to do all of the paperwork and I didn't get to leave until around noon that day. I got up and got in my wheelchair and was wheeled out waving to all the nurses who helped me and just overall excited to be in my own bed and on my own couch. I still had a lot of recovery to go but the worst was over and every day it was going to get better!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Surgery #1 - Right Orchiectomy
So surgery was set for April 19th to remove the right tumor / testicle and place implants in for visual appeal :). I consider the implants similar to a boob job but you can't really show them off because that would most likely be frowned upon. This surgery was outpatient and I was in and out in a couple of hours. I wasn't really nervous because I had already had an Orchiectomy on the left side so I was familiar with the process.
My mom and I arrived at the hospital in the morning and waited in the large waiting room for people awaiting surgery. It's amazing the amount of traffic at Barnes Jewish and just how much goes on 24/7. I couldn't be in better hands at BJC and that helped with my stress level when going into surgery.
The Bank
Rewinding a little bit... Before the surgery day I was instructed to go to the sperm bank to preserve what good swimmers I had left. 5 years ago I didn't do this because I was in a different place in my life and was told one is all you need so I was under the assumption this wouldn't surface again but I was wrong.
If you've never been to a sperm bank it is kind of an odd experience. It makes it even weirder when you run into someone you used to work with. Leave it up to me to know someone at the sperm bank.
You go into a small room and do what you need to do and give them the sample. I had to go back another time to attempt to get a better sample and then the testicle removed in the surgery was sent to get whatever was left so it could be frozen and used when it was needed. Being 29 now it's amazing how my priorities have shifted and how much I was thinking about the future and having a family and kids and before I never really thought about that. After meeting Gisela my life changed dramatically and I quickly was talking about moving in, future, kids, some real life stuff. It is amazing when you meet that person that just opens you up and accepts you for who you are and it just works. I am not being cheesy it is just true and this was the first time in my life I ever felt this way and I couldn't be happier.
Next Steps
The recovery time wasn't too bad a couple of weeks and with good enough medicine you can get through anything I am convinced ;). I basically was waiting on the biopsy and the scheduling for the next surgery which was going to be a big one.... The lymphnode dissection. The Dr. called me about a week or so later and the biopsy was not so good news.
My mom and I arrived at the hospital in the morning and waited in the large waiting room for people awaiting surgery. It's amazing the amount of traffic at Barnes Jewish and just how much goes on 24/7. I couldn't be in better hands at BJC and that helped with my stress level when going into surgery.
The Bank
Rewinding a little bit... Before the surgery day I was instructed to go to the sperm bank to preserve what good swimmers I had left. 5 years ago I didn't do this because I was in a different place in my life and was told one is all you need so I was under the assumption this wouldn't surface again but I was wrong.
If you've never been to a sperm bank it is kind of an odd experience. It makes it even weirder when you run into someone you used to work with. Leave it up to me to know someone at the sperm bank.
You go into a small room and do what you need to do and give them the sample. I had to go back another time to attempt to get a better sample and then the testicle removed in the surgery was sent to get whatever was left so it could be frozen and used when it was needed. Being 29 now it's amazing how my priorities have shifted and how much I was thinking about the future and having a family and kids and before I never really thought about that. After meeting Gisela my life changed dramatically and I quickly was talking about moving in, future, kids, some real life stuff. It is amazing when you meet that person that just opens you up and accepts you for who you are and it just works. I am not being cheesy it is just true and this was the first time in my life I ever felt this way and I couldn't be happier.
Next Steps
The recovery time wasn't too bad a couple of weeks and with good enough medicine you can get through anything I am convinced ;). I basically was waiting on the biopsy and the scheduling for the next surgery which was going to be a big one.... The lymphnode dissection. The Dr. called me about a week or so later and the biopsy was not so good news.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
It's Back?
Cancer Round 1 - 2006:
For those of you who don't know my first battle with testicular cancer was in early 2006 when I just had graduated from the University of Missouri Columbia. I will not go into the specifics but I had two surgeries at that time. The first surgery was to remove the left tumor / testicle and the second surgery was to remove a section of my lymphnodes which was the most probable landing site for the cancer to return. The normal flow of cancer that originates from the testicle(s) goes in an upward fashion so eventually it could get to the lungs / brain if not treated in a timely manner. After the two surgeries and biopsy on the lymphnodes they thought chemo was not necessary because none showed signs of cancer present. I then had to visit my urologist Dr. Stephen Brandes every 6 months for 5 years because after 5 years you are considered cured! But unfortunately a couple months before my 5 year visited I had found out it had come back again in the right testicle and this time wasn't going to be as easy.
Cancer Round 2 - 2011:
In December 2010 I was having odd pains in my stomach that I knew were not normal. I let them go for a week or two and then made an appointment at the local urgent care downtown. They examined me and thought the best option was to get a CT scan to see if anything odd was going on. I went to get the CT scan and after waiting anxiously for the results they concluded that everything was negative and I appeared ok. I was still puzzled by my pain and thought I knew a little more than what they were telling me. I decided to make an appointment with my primary care physician Dr. Todd Hammond in January to see if anything looked out of the ordinary. After looking me over from head to toe (the standard physical) he said I was healthy and I was out of there. I was still not convinced and in February I noticed an odd lump while in the shower on my right testicle. I knew instantly what it was and although trying not to be pessimistic I had been through it before and had no doubt it was cancer again.
Quiet Concern
I didn't really tell anyone what I had found for a week or two and tried to put it out of my mind because I was scared and didn't know what to do. I knew the reality of the situation but wasn't ready to face it yet. There were many sleepless nights and I finally told Gisela (I will get to my wonderful girlfriend later) when she called me and told me her Grandmother in Mexico was just diagnosed with breast cancer. I then broke down and started to cry and told her that I have it (cancer) again. Just like a mother she said, "Now don't get yourself worked up.... Just make an appointment with the doc, it could be something else". Although I knew it was back I told her I would make an appointment and see. I then told my amazing mother Joan (I will get to her later too) and she echoed what Gisela had told me and always getting me to look on the bright side of things which unfortunately I am a born pessimist but to be honest I am slowly changing. I believe I told a couple other close friends and then made an appointment to see Dr. Brandes at Barnes Jewish for the month of March. That's when the official diagnosis was determined.
My 5 Year Visit
My appointment for the Dr. was set for March and I was scared to say the least to hear what was going on. I later found out the odds of getting testicular cancer again was about 1%-2% so could it really happen to me again??? I hoped not but as I was called into an open room it felt like hours waiting for the Dr. to arrive. My palms were sweaty and I was trying to hold back the tears and emotions coming to the surface.
The Dr. came in and saw my face but kept doing his normal procedures. He was under the impression that I was here for my annual visit of 5 years and I was to be cured and sent to move on with my life. But after I told him what I was there for and he examined me, I will never forget the look on his face and what he said after. After what he felt and saw his head drop and he appeared visibly shaken and upset murmering some cuss words because he was beyond surprised that it was back. I knew it was back before I even got there but seeing the Dr.'s face all my emotions came to the surface. I felt alone, scared, helpless, mad and soo many things were running through my head like, "Why me again?", "Can't I get a break", "What does this mean?", "F!*k", etc, etc. I started that day feeling sorry for myself but as you'll see that slowly changes. This was just the beginning of my second battle with cancer.
Test,Test,Test
That day I was rushed from test to test and as they went on I was wishing I had my mother with me. I specifically told her, "I got this" but after being at the hospital from 8AM to 4PM I was getting lonely and more emotional than I had ever been in the past. I had an ultrasound of the tumor and if you have ever gotten something like this to say the least it is awkward. Because of the rarity of my case they decide to bring more people in the room and I am like "Really, you have to bring 20 something year old girl interns in to look at my ultrasound of my 'area'". In my head this was phrased differently though. I then had blood work and then had to do a CT scan and a chest X-Ray which I have had a million of in the past years so I was OK with. I was then rushed back up to the Dr.'s office and he viewed the results....It was indeed testicular cancer again and at Stage 2.
The long journey was beginning again but I was to find out shortly that it wasn't going to be as easy as the first time.
For those of you who don't know my first battle with testicular cancer was in early 2006 when I just had graduated from the University of Missouri Columbia. I will not go into the specifics but I had two surgeries at that time. The first surgery was to remove the left tumor / testicle and the second surgery was to remove a section of my lymphnodes which was the most probable landing site for the cancer to return. The normal flow of cancer that originates from the testicle(s) goes in an upward fashion so eventually it could get to the lungs / brain if not treated in a timely manner. After the two surgeries and biopsy on the lymphnodes they thought chemo was not necessary because none showed signs of cancer present. I then had to visit my urologist Dr. Stephen Brandes every 6 months for 5 years because after 5 years you are considered cured! But unfortunately a couple months before my 5 year visited I had found out it had come back again in the right testicle and this time wasn't going to be as easy.
Cancer Round 2 - 2011:
In December 2010 I was having odd pains in my stomach that I knew were not normal. I let them go for a week or two and then made an appointment at the local urgent care downtown. They examined me and thought the best option was to get a CT scan to see if anything odd was going on. I went to get the CT scan and after waiting anxiously for the results they concluded that everything was negative and I appeared ok. I was still puzzled by my pain and thought I knew a little more than what they were telling me. I decided to make an appointment with my primary care physician Dr. Todd Hammond in January to see if anything looked out of the ordinary. After looking me over from head to toe (the standard physical) he said I was healthy and I was out of there. I was still not convinced and in February I noticed an odd lump while in the shower on my right testicle. I knew instantly what it was and although trying not to be pessimistic I had been through it before and had no doubt it was cancer again.
Quiet Concern
I didn't really tell anyone what I had found for a week or two and tried to put it out of my mind because I was scared and didn't know what to do. I knew the reality of the situation but wasn't ready to face it yet. There were many sleepless nights and I finally told Gisela (I will get to my wonderful girlfriend later) when she called me and told me her Grandmother in Mexico was just diagnosed with breast cancer. I then broke down and started to cry and told her that I have it (cancer) again. Just like a mother she said, "Now don't get yourself worked up.... Just make an appointment with the doc, it could be something else". Although I knew it was back I told her I would make an appointment and see. I then told my amazing mother Joan (I will get to her later too) and she echoed what Gisela had told me and always getting me to look on the bright side of things which unfortunately I am a born pessimist but to be honest I am slowly changing. I believe I told a couple other close friends and then made an appointment to see Dr. Brandes at Barnes Jewish for the month of March. That's when the official diagnosis was determined.
My 5 Year Visit
My appointment for the Dr. was set for March and I was scared to say the least to hear what was going on. I later found out the odds of getting testicular cancer again was about 1%-2% so could it really happen to me again??? I hoped not but as I was called into an open room it felt like hours waiting for the Dr. to arrive. My palms were sweaty and I was trying to hold back the tears and emotions coming to the surface.
The Dr. came in and saw my face but kept doing his normal procedures. He was under the impression that I was here for my annual visit of 5 years and I was to be cured and sent to move on with my life. But after I told him what I was there for and he examined me, I will never forget the look on his face and what he said after. After what he felt and saw his head drop and he appeared visibly shaken and upset murmering some cuss words because he was beyond surprised that it was back. I knew it was back before I even got there but seeing the Dr.'s face all my emotions came to the surface. I felt alone, scared, helpless, mad and soo many things were running through my head like, "Why me again?", "Can't I get a break", "What does this mean?", "F!*k", etc, etc. I started that day feeling sorry for myself but as you'll see that slowly changes. This was just the beginning of my second battle with cancer.
Test,Test,Test
That day I was rushed from test to test and as they went on I was wishing I had my mother with me. I specifically told her, "I got this" but after being at the hospital from 8AM to 4PM I was getting lonely and more emotional than I had ever been in the past. I had an ultrasound of the tumor and if you have ever gotten something like this to say the least it is awkward. Because of the rarity of my case they decide to bring more people in the room and I am like "Really, you have to bring 20 something year old girl interns in to look at my ultrasound of my 'area'". In my head this was phrased differently though. I then had blood work and then had to do a CT scan and a chest X-Ray which I have had a million of in the past years so I was OK with. I was then rushed back up to the Dr.'s office and he viewed the results....It was indeed testicular cancer again and at Stage 2.
The long journey was beginning again but I was to find out shortly that it wasn't going to be as easy as the first time.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)